October 24, 2013
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Definition of Me
Following on yesterday’s thought… it’s quite interesting that I’ve became such an overachiever. I don’t think I was ever like this before. I’d always see these overachievers in elementary school, middle school, high school and college, but I always thought they were really out there. They’re always anxious, only thinking about achievements and getting good grades, and don’t care about you, if you’re not part of their plan to succeed. I never thought I’d become one of them since I really didn’t have high standards for myself. Somehow, over time, I’ve became one of them. Maybe it’s the day that I realized that “I” could achieve too. Maybe it’s the moment I realized that I am actually pretty smart. Maybe it’s the day I was left in charge of many things and I saw how “I” could make it happen. Whatever the cause, I’ve became quite a perfectionist and an overachiever.
I was finishing up these cake pops for my friend’s son’s birthday, which she already told me don’t wear myself out, yet because I like the sense of accomplishment and adding one more accomplished projects to my repertoire, I went all out getting it done. While I was running to Michael’s getting the last minute item I needed, I had a realization – do I do anything out of love for people or do I just do it for praise and acclaim? If you take away all the responsibilities and jobs I have, I’d certainly create my own projects to accomplish because I’m such a workaholic and I cannot sit idle. It makes me wonder if I go to school to learn or I go to school because it’s another challenge that I want to conquer and say “I did it!” I think it’s quite the latter at this time. I seem to live for praise, approval, affirmation, and the like…
Desperately need Jesus. Desperately need to have Him give me my definition.
